Connecting and letting go

We’ve had some important developments these past two weeks. We finally closed on our house in Durham yesterday. Way too much drama and a tough market for sellers, so we’re glad this is done. We’re also sad, it’s a big tie to Durham that we now let go. We also have some money we didn’t have before, and get to spend a little of it on “discretionary” items and paying off Ann’s student loan.

This happened on the summer solstice. Our friend Kit took us to Pine Ridge reservation to see a great art exhibit there. And we went to a summer solstice party at a house in the country and have met some neat folks. Ann played her cello and we sang songs and sat around a fire. So are feeling much less isolated. Lots of momentous things for one day, eh?

The day before I found out I didn’t get the job at Pine Ridge. I’m disappointed, but also a little relieved. It’s a long drive, and a very challenging environment. And I’m starting to get busier with career coaching clients via my former employer. This is a very good thing, and may allow me to cobble together a few different things that enable a flexible schedule.

We had our first riding lesson last week and learned how to bridle and saddle a horse. Our teacher is very thorough and focused on safety. Both she and a former student who dropped by are real matter-of-fact folks and very much at home as western riders. The former student impressed us as a genuine cowboy and competes in rodeos. He rode a horse that was acting up while we were there – it was great to see such competence and the results of our teacher’s teaching. Next Saturday we’ll probably get to ride, if we remember enough of the first lesson!

I was able to get together with some folks individually last week, simply visiting and getting to know each other. I also attended a meeting of some social service providers. It’s been real helpful in learning about the community, and in further conversations with these and other folks I’m getting input on some ideas for ways to occupy myself and possibly contribute to the community. In brief, this would be getting an online comprehensive community calendar up and running, and initiating a listserv for community providers. Still in the needs analysis stage, so we’ll see.

Newsy post, but what I’ve got for now. It’s the nature of this mode to be a “narrowcast” for folks wanting to know about our transition to NE. I hope it also serves an impetus for y’all to get in touch and keep us up to date, or just chat. Later…

Back in Nebraska

I had a lovely time in NC, thank you. I spent Memorial Day at Sunset Beach with "The Tribe", visited friends and colleagues in the Triangle the following week, and capped it off with MC'ing the Beaver Queen Pageant the following Saturday. Sunday I sat in the Chapel Hill Zen Center with the Sangha, visited some friends and went to a potluck on the block on Lynch St. our soon-to-be old house is located.

Ginger showed a DVD at the beach of a compilation of photos from the last 20 years or so of the Tribe at the beach. I cried afterwards because I've missed folks so much. It was cathartic, and unusual for me.

In talking with folks I've been able to articulate a couple of things that are useful for me to keep in mind. One: I am, you are probably not surprised to hear, an extrovert. For me, this means that I get energy and validation from interacting with folks. Not just validation as in "I am liked/loved" but as in "I exist". At least, that's how it feels when I am too isolated. So I have to very consciously arrange interactions with people where we can share stories, face to face, at least twice a week. This is not news to me, and possibly not to you either, but it has really been reinforced by the contrast of my visit to NC, and return to NE.

The other thing for me to remember is that, as independent professionally as I have been or have tried to be, I do much better on staff. Being accountable day-to-day to someone else is much easier for me than being productive on my own. While I am not on staff, I'm going to try incorporating some more structure to at least reinforce self-accountability.

There's lots more I could say about the folks I saw and the fun I had, especially doing the BQP again. I'd rather just say that I take away from this trip that, while a part of me thinks it is crazy to leave a good situation like I've had in NC, the foremost part is going to take a crack at revealing a different sort of good situation here that can sustain us. We've had a good weekend playing with folks here, including going to a Pow-wow at Fort Robinson.

Writing this helps me to keep these things in mind, to feel your presence somehow. I could write a diary, but you know I like an audience...