Back in Nebraska

I had a lovely time in NC, thank you. I spent Memorial Day at Sunset Beach with "The Tribe", visited friends and colleagues in the Triangle the following week, and capped it off with MC'ing the Beaver Queen Pageant the following Saturday. Sunday I sat in the Chapel Hill Zen Center with the Sangha, visited some friends and went to a potluck on the block on Lynch St. our soon-to-be old house is located.

Ginger showed a DVD at the beach of a compilation of photos from the last 20 years or so of the Tribe at the beach. I cried afterwards because I've missed folks so much. It was cathartic, and unusual for me.

In talking with folks I've been able to articulate a couple of things that are useful for me to keep in mind. One: I am, you are probably not surprised to hear, an extrovert. For me, this means that I get energy and validation from interacting with folks. Not just validation as in "I am liked/loved" but as in "I exist". At least, that's how it feels when I am too isolated. So I have to very consciously arrange interactions with people where we can share stories, face to face, at least twice a week. This is not news to me, and possibly not to you either, but it has really been reinforced by the contrast of my visit to NC, and return to NE.

The other thing for me to remember is that, as independent professionally as I have been or have tried to be, I do much better on staff. Being accountable day-to-day to someone else is much easier for me than being productive on my own. While I am not on staff, I'm going to try incorporating some more structure to at least reinforce self-accountability.

There's lots more I could say about the folks I saw and the fun I had, especially doing the BQP again. I'd rather just say that I take away from this trip that, while a part of me thinks it is crazy to leave a good situation like I've had in NC, the foremost part is going to take a crack at revealing a different sort of good situation here that can sustain us. We've had a good weekend playing with folks here, including going to a Pow-wow at Fort Robinson.

Writing this helps me to keep these things in mind, to feel your presence somehow. I could write a diary, but you know I like an audience...